Shifting Paradigms

Love is one of our society's most profound and transformative experiences. It holds the power to shape our lives, mold our perceptions, and ignite our spirits. Yet, as we navigate the intricate terrain of our emotional landscapes, we often find ourselves entangled in the threads of our past, unintentionally pushing away the very essence of love we so earnestly seek.  

This phenomenon is not a novel one; it's a human inclination to continually revisit past hurts, traumas, and disappointments. But, Kindred, it's vital to recognize that this perpetual revisiting of the past repels the experience of love—both from within ourselves and from those around us.  

Now, ask yourself this: What if you could collectively shift your focus away from the narratives that have imprisoned you in the past? What if you could ascend to a higher understanding of love, one that transcends fleeting emotions and embraces acceptance, growth, and the boundless expansiveness of the universe (Source, God, Creator, Love, Light, etc.)? 

One thing I will say is this: the exploration of the type of love that encompasses all, that knows no bounds, and that awaits us with open arms is the gateway to our healing, achievement, and evolution. Extending elevated expressions of love - to yourself and to others - is the key to helping the collective (our sisters) heal wounds, nurture souls, uplift others, and forge connections that transcend time and circumstance.   

Since we as Black women have long carried the heavy burden of being among the least respected, protected, valued, and honored members of our society, we must shift our paradigm of what it means to be love, loved, and loving. This undeniable truth may weigh heavily on our hearts, yet it must serve as fuel for an unwavering determination to change the narrative. Love is what will guide us toward a brighter, more compassionate, and harmonious world—a world where we, as Black women, stand as pillars of strength, wisdom, and boundless love, lighting the path for generations to come. 

Transcending the Past 

Imagine a world where the stories of our past no longer hold us captive, where the chains (pun respectfully intended) of old wounds and regrets have been replaced with the wings of possibility and renewal. Picture a reality where the echoes of past hurts are drowned out by the symphony of a love that knows no bounds. Generational and individual healing requires us to collectively shift our focus away from the narratives that have long imprisoned us in the shadows of the past. The potential to forge new possibilities compels us to embark on an explorative quest, delving into a level of love that extends beyond fleeting emotions. This journey commences with a heightened understanding of love itself. 

At the heart of this healing, change, and evolution lies the notion that love is not merely an emotion, but it is an undeniable power that transcends the boundaries of time and circumstance. It is an energy that radiates through every corner of the world, connecting all living beings in an intricate web of existence. Such insight should move us to shed the narrow confines of love as mere emotion so that we may delve into the depths of acceptance. Acceptance, not just of others, but of ourselves – with all our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and past mistakes. It is through acceptance that we free ourselves from the shackles of self-judgment and criticism, allowing the seeds of self-love to take root and flourish. 

In this sacred space of acceptance, we find the fertile ground for growth. The path of growth and evolution is not a linear one; it is a continuous spiral that propels us forward, urging us to discard old skins and embrace the new. When we learn to navigate the landscape of love with growth in mind, we recognize that challenges and setbacks are not hindrances but opportunities for expansion. We learn to dance with the rhythm of life, allowing ourselves to be transformed by the ebb and flow of experiences. 

Yet, the journey of self-love would be incomplete without acknowledging the boundless expansiveness of the Universe itself – the initial act of love that predates any of our existences. The universe, with its galaxies, stars, and mysteries, offers a mirror through which we can glimpse the infinite nature of love. Just as the universe stretches beyond our comprehension, so does the potential for love within us. It is a force that defies limitations, and when we open our hearts to its vastness, we align ourselves with the universal dance of creation. 

As we embrace this elevated comprehension of love, one that encompasses acceptance, growth, expansiveness, and expression, we find ourselves instinctively and simultaneously traversing a direct path that aligns our essence with the boundless power of the universe. It is in this moment of profound clarity that we can release the grip of the past and embrace a love that heals, nurtures, and empowers both our individual souls and the collective human experience. As we navigate this transformative path, we not only mend the wounds within ourselves but also contribute to the profound healing of Black women and the world, unlocking a universe of potential and love. 

A shift from narratives that bind us to the past to a profound understanding of love marks the inception of a remarkable journey. Essentially, we become co-creators of a reality where love is the guiding force that propels us toward wholeness, connection, and a deeper understanding of our place in the Universe. A paradigm shift of this magnitude is what inspires us to reflect on our influence in the world as we venture towards the hidden realms where our ancestors reside. 

I have a question for you, Kindred: How do you interpret it when someone tells you that the future hinges on your actions and choices? Do you hear a powerful reminder of the responsibility and potential that you hold? It should highlight the notion that your actions, choices, and contributions have a profound impact not only on your own life but also on the well-being, values, and opportunities of those around you and those who will come after us. Perhaps it emphasizes the importance of leadership, guidance, and positive influence in shaping a better future reality than the one in which you currently reside.   

With that in mind, achieving genuine healing and evolution requires us to make a deliberate effort to shape new realities that can alter the course of your family, community, and the next generations. Hopefully, it's becoming clearer why it's crucial for you to nurture a love for yourself that grows ever deeper.   

Be Willing. Be Resilient. 

The essence of self-love lies in our willingness to step into the unknown, to release the shackles of familiarity, and to venture into the uncharted territories of our potential. It is in these brave steps that we unravel the fabric of time, transcending the linear constraints of the past. To create a present-future reality (taking action in your present life to shape and manifest the future you desire), we must not merely skim the surface of our desires; we must dive deep within ourselves and confront the shadows that have lingered far too long. An inward exploration is what will guide us towards the realization that the love we seek already exists within. 

At some point in our lives, we must shift our focus of love as an external experience to one that is internal. To attract love from a place of wholeness and acceptance requires us to shed the layers of doubt and insecurity that have clouded our perception for so long. It involves standing in the radiant light of our own authenticity and fully embracing every facet of our being. From this space, we become a magnet for experiences that resonate with our newfound vibration – experiences rooted in the soil of love, respect, and mutual growth.  

In the grand scheme of things, we are all co-creators of our realities. Our thoughts, intentions, and actions are the brushes with which we paint the canvas of our lives. It is within our power to shift our focus, to recalibrate our perspectives, and to manifest a reality that radiates with love. While this quest may not be instantaneous, it is one that requires dedication, patience, and an unwavering commitment to be, give, and express the love-energy that resides within and around us. 

Making the Shift 

There comes a moment when we realize the profound importance of shifting our perspective on love. This shift, especially vital when confronted with heartbreak and trauma, involves moving from seeking love externally to discovering it within ourselves. However, this transition need not only occur when we feel broken and isolated. Every moment that unfolds presents an opportunity for us to embark on a path of growth where self-love forms the foundation for loving others and engaging with the world, regardless of the individuals surrounding us. Embracing this change underscores our readiness to embrace love as an innate state that enriches our lives and radiates outward. 

One of the easiest ways to begin making the shift is to practice present-future thinking, which involves fostering a mindset that balances being mindful and fully present in the current moment while also considering the potential outcomes and consequences of our actions for the future. This allows you to appreciate the present with love while also taking intentional steps toward creating and manifesting desired realities.  

Here are a few more ways to begin shifting how we experience love: 

• Be Present: Embrace the present moment fully and whole-heartedly. Instead of solely seeking love externally, start by cultivating love and compassion from within. Nurturing a loving relationship with yourself in the present moment creates a foundation for experiencing and sharing love with others. 
• Be Powerful: Reframe your understanding of love beyond the ego and emotion. Perceive love as an energy that shapes reality; a force that creates, manifests, and magnifies what we desire. See love as a power that drives actions, fuels positive intentions, amplifies positivity, and attracts harmonious energies.   
• Be Clear: Get uber clear with your intentions – in the moment, daily, weekly, annually, and lifelong. Rather than passively waiting for love to come to you, set an intention to actively cultivate love in your life. This might involve engaging in activities you're passionate about, nurturing meaningful relationships, and fostering an attitude of openness and kindness. 
• Be Wise: Learn to take wisdom and release pain from past experiences. Loving yourself entails understanding that there is no point in reliving experiences over and over again.  Instead of dwelling on past disappointments and perpetuating trauma, reframe past experiences as valuable lessons that offer a more expanded, wiser perspective of life and love. See past experiences as steppingstones that were meant to inform future choices and decisions. 
• Be Imaginative: Visualize how love can manifest in your life – in the moment and in the future – so that you can recognize its arrival. Get clear on the type of love you desire expressing to yourself and others, as well as how you desire to experience it from the people in your life (not just a significant other). Release the idea of how "love will look" and from whom it shall come. Focus instead on how you wish to feel and remember that there are many avenues through which love can be shared. Stay open.  

The path to crafting the life you crave begins with embracing the wisdom and love born from the profound lessons you've encountered on your unique journey. As a Black woman, you understand the weight of history and the power of resilience. As you release the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual shackles of the past (again, pun respectfully intended) and reach for new ideas and information that shifts old paradigms, you create room for a love that goes beyond mere emotion—a love that is transcendent and powerful beyond measure. I encourage you to use It to emerge as the architect of your own destinies and to unite with other Black women to defy the constraints of time. Remember: your potential is boundless, and your journey towards transformation is a testament to your remarkable strength and resilience. 

Until next time, embrace peace and love on the Journey Up! 

Ase`! 

Here's Your Daily Journal Prompt: 

Consider reframing painful moments experienced in the past. How can you use the lessons to expand your understanding and enhance your expression of love. Explore the lessons and growth that have emerged from these challenges. How can you integrate these insights to foster a deeper and more compassionate love for yourself and those around you? Write about the shifts in perception you envision and the positive impact they could have on your relationships and overall well-being. 

One Last Note:  

Stay tuned. The Path and The Power of Self-Love will be available for purchase January 1, 2024. 

For further inspiration and resources, feel free to explore our Journey Up! Book Club, peruse the shelves of our Journey Up! Library,  immerse yourself in Meditation and Affirmation Videos, or join our Growth Academy, and join our Membership Program (app). You can also join the waitlist for our upcoming Classes and Masterminds.